


Without Hesitation and Remorse

by MonkeyZero



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst?, Pre-Relationship, talk about violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 01:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13470972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonkeyZero/pseuds/MonkeyZero
Summary: Fai notices something about Kurogane, something that defies his expectations





	Without Hesitation and Remorse

**Author's Note:**

> -I wanted to get into Kurogane and Fai's violent pasts a bit. I never see much about how Fai killed anyone for Ashura, so I thought I'd get into that a bit.

Fai wasn’t used to killing this way. He’s killed and he’s killed and he’s killed: anyone who was a threat to Celes country he destroyed. Everybody but one, he killed without hesitation or remorse. But that was with magic, and now that he was none, he has this bow. He picks it up quickly, quicker than Kurogane expected if the surprise in his eyes every time Fai hits his target is anything to go by. But Kurogane doesn’t know his history, doesn’t know how far Fai would go for Ashura, the first one to show him love and kindness.

Everything about Kurogane shouts _killer_ but when they go to battle, Kurogane isn’t what he expects. He injures his opponents in any way--sometimes ways crueler than death--but never delivers a killing blow. He hits them on the head, hard enough for a severe concussion, but not death. He breaks their kneecaps, he paralyzes them with a hit to the spine, he cuts them in non-essential places. But he never, never kills.

 

In Piffle, there are these things called _manga._ Syaoran dragged them to the library regularly, and Fai took home volume after volume of these books that were more pictures than words, and which you read backwards.

“Look Kuro-pon, it’s you!” Fai said, shoving a manga in Kurogane’s face. “Ninjas.”

Kurogane scowled, pushing the book away. “No decent ninja would wear an orange jumpsuit. And if you’re not going to work, at least get out of my way,,” he said. Fai returned to his reading, settled in the seat of the race car Kurogane was working on, then said “Kuro-softie must not be a very good ninja.”

Kurogane threw his wrench on the ground. “Say that again and I’ll beat you up.”

“But you won’t kill me,” Fai said, putting the book down.

“Of course I wouldn’t kill you,” Kurogane said. “You’re my…”

There was a pause where Fai tensed up. He hoped Kurogane wouldn’t say it--that thing that was painfully obvious but that they ignored. Fai didn’t want to acknowledge that the man he was going to kill was in love with him. Normally he would take advantage of that: gain Kurogane’s trust, get close to him, and wait for the right time. He had done that before when it had been necessary to protect Celes, but those were people he didn’t care about, and this was Kurogane. Fai didn’t want to think about what he felt for Kurogane.

“...travelling companion,” Kurogane said, returning to his work.

“Why don’t you kill?” Fai asked. “Is it because of your curse?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kurogane said, but he wasn’t good at hiding his feelings, which Fai thought a ninja should be.

Fai reached out and poked Kurogane’s forehead. The curse wasn’t visible, but Fai was a magician, and he would notice a curse anywhere.

Kurogane grunted, then said. “I can’t kill. I get weaker each time.”

“Did your Tomoyo do that to you?” Fai asked. “The one here seems like the gentle sort.”

“Yeah, it was Tomoyo,” Kurogane said. Fai didn’t ask why, but Kurogane still said, “In the past I killed to much.”

Fai smiled. “Me too,” he said, and returned to his book. Kurogane was looking at him oddly, but Fai ignored that. He wasn’t willing to let Kurogane know any more than that just yet. Because if Kurogane got any closer, Fai wouldn’t be able to kill him. Not without hesitation and remorse.


End file.
